Sorry for the lack of any posts. I've been extremely busy with my real life.
I got a job that has been kicking my ass.
I'm a security guard now and let me tell you.....so many stupid people.
First day on the job I got pepper sprayed. Mind you, it wasn't directly in my face but it was damn close. You see, some people were arguing in the Food court of the local mall(No, I'm not a mall cop. My company was just contracted out to them for the holidays) and I tried to break it up. One girl pulled another girl by the hair and the girl whose hair got pulled whipped out a thing of pepper spray. I was almost in between them so I could break it up and prevent a fight. So when the girl sprayed the other girl in the face, my face was roughly 2 foot away. I ended up getting a big blast of it in my face.
That was awesome...
May I recommend that no one ever get sprayed with that shit. It's not fun.
My second day of work I ended up dealing with an extremely racist Cashier. I was patrolling the mall and going into every store so people could see that I'm there.
Remember, a big rule of being a security guard is that our very presence detours crime.
Anyways, the cashier at this store starts talking to me. I figured why not, my legs are killing me, I could use an excuse to rest for a minute.
So he starts out small, weather and what not. Then he goes into how he doesn't like the local black people coming in his store and demanding better prices. He'd continuously say use "quotes" such as "Yo dawg, why you not be giving me anything cheaper? I can get this crap for 50 bucks at another store" and various other ones.
The best part was he even used a few racial slurs. This went on for 30 whole minutes too so he had ample time to get things off his chest. I didn't want to stay the entire time but my legs were in so much pain.
He finishes and I go back to work. I ended up having the next day off but then I worked the day after that. I return to his store and he's working again. He waves me over and chats me up again. He started out the same way he did 2 days before. First he talks about the weather, ect, ect then he goes into how ever since he told me about the local black people problem that he hasn't had any come back in his store and he thanked me for it.
I was stunned and speechless. All I could say was "No problem..." and I walked off.
Lucky for me I never ended up seeing him again. I think he went home after that.
I didn't work again till Boxing day and that was an experience all on it's own.
The mall was packed. I mean full, overloaded, crowed, and whatever other words there are for way too many fucking people.
I was originally going to be patrolling the first floor of the mall. That would have been a blast. Nice walking, get to chat with people, can sit down from time to time. Nice easy work. Sadly, the fates hated me that day and I got put somewhere else.
I got put atop of the broken down escalator and was incharge of telling people that it wasn't working and that they had to watch their step. It doesn't sound too bad but people are idiots. Complete idiots.
Traffic to this escalator can come from two directions. The left and the right. The right has plenty of room so people can build up and there wouldn't be a problem with the flow of traffic. The left however has a small pathway that can block traffic to a lot of stores so I had to stop people from the right going down the newly formed stairs to let the people on the left go down so I could alleviate the traffic jams.
Not too bad of a job except for stupid people who ever in a hurry to get nowhere.
I wasn't 10 minutes in and I had to stop the right. At first everything is going fine. People are moving, all is well. Then some asshole from the right starts pushing people out of his way saying how he's had enough of this "Fucking bullshit waiting" and preceded to push CHILDREN. He got up to me and pushed me out of the way while spouting some bullshit about how he's been waiting for 10 minutes to use the stairs.
First off, bullshit. The longest anyone had to wait was a minute tops. Why? Because of the wait was any longer than that they'd go use the 3 means of getting to the first floor.
This asshole get passed me and actually starts pushing people ON THE ESCALATOR out of his way aswell. This was just shocking to me. I couldn't believe someone had that little regard for safety.
After that everything calms down for a few hours. Though, I did have a lot of people say things like "No shit it's not working, dumbass" and various other things ending in dumbass. But believe it or not, I also had a lot of people ignore me and precede to the tip of the top stair and almost fall down because they were expecting it to move.
After about 3 hours of this some kid comes up to me and says
"Hey man, I'm just gonna jump on the side and slide down. I'm in a hurry, okay"
I looked at him like he was retarded and flat out said
"No, you're not"
He replies
"Come on man, I'm in a while. It'll be fine. I'll be quick"
I responded with
"No, you won't. You do it and you'll be banned from this mall"
He looked at me like he was about to do it anyways. Infact, he actually had one of his legs up on the rail and was ready to hope over. So, I looked straight in his eyes and said in a deep voice so damn near anyone around me could hear me.
"NO"
He brought his leg back down and walked properly down the stairs.
I felt rather cool after that to be honest. My authority was respected.
It then got boring...again. The only thing that kept me moderately sane was these extremely cute girls at the shop across from me kept flirting with me and bringing me out chocolate and water and even chatted with me.
So ya, that's the exciting first ever week of work for the mighty Randy. Life is pretty awesome right now to be honest. I'm finally working, I'm getting ready to go back to school. I'm getting results from my doctors about my back issues, and chicks really dig the security uniform.
I may take some time to update this but I will always have one up every 2 weeks at the latest. The soonest of course would be 1 week.
Till next time my loyal readers.
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